INTERLOPERS @GRANDMA'S

Being a friendly sort of fellow I like to stay with the folks sometimes, you know spread the fluff about a bit and blag a bit of chicken. On my latest stop off I spotted this picture of a couple of interlopers called Spock and Kitty (someone must have blabbed about the chicken). What really confused me is why a pretty cute white dog would be called Kitty? Maybe her humans meant to get a cat and only realised when she got big that they had made a rather long legged mistake? Who knows humans are pretty strange at the best of times.

TRAINING THE HUMANS

I'm worn out, I've been spending a lot of time trying to train the humans and sometimes they are just impossibly dim. Now even pups know that bells mean 'space invaders' and that requires barking and general alarm signals all round. My humans however ignore all bells except the rather annoying one on the cooker, which gets them jumping around/falling over me/cursing-steam-general panic and mayhem. Weird or what!

In other areas things are progressing nicely, they now respond well to my single loud bark which means please give me a drink/biscuit/get my ball down from the window sill. I also have regular lap space in the evenings but I'm still not able to train them to let me sleep on the bed. Although I do have my own folded up duvet on the floor which is pretty comfy and at least nobody squashes me when they roll over.

So my message to all dogs out there waiting to be rescued is don't give up hope and when you do get new humans train them carefully and whatever you do don't bite them however dim witted they are. With a little patience they will give you years of love and good grub.

If you have any questions on training leave me a comment and I will try to help.

Dance practice

Best foot forward, one two three, one two three. Tricky this dancing, counting one two three when you've got four legs to move!

America's got talent

Been watching America's got talent and I thought wow I could do that, so I went out into the garden for my first practice today. I have to say it didn't seem to go down very well with the humans. I suppose I shouldn't really be suprised it's hard to educate them in the finer things of doggy life. Anyway I will keep practising my best Poochini arias in the hope of making the Big Apple for the next series!

Wooooooooooof.....................

DO DOGS HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR?

YUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE POODLE SONG

If I had a poodle, I'd poodle in the morning
I'd poodle in the evening, all over this land
He'd bark out the danger, he'd bark out a warning
He'd bark out the love for bones and balls and biscuits
All over this land.

woof woof oo oo !!!!!!!

(thanks Charlie for allowing me to post to your blog, I can't let you have all the fun).

ANTI SOCIAL SECURITY

Now some readers will know that I take my job as security guard quite seriously. So with this in mind when we stopped off at the garage the other morning on the way to work and my male human left his keys in the car with me in it, I thought I'd better do something about it (after all I didn't want anyone stealing the car with me in it). So first I tried barking at him in my best you'd better listen type bark, then when that didn't work I had a idea - why not lock the doors - brilliant no one could steal it then. Now I can see that you might spot the problem with this clever wheeze, easy peasy to push the button down with your paw but much trickier to use the door handle to unlock the door with an irate human the otherside unable to go to work!!

Well they tried various tricks to get the door open, the best one proved to be phoning the female human to bring the spare keys. Anyway as you can see I'm now keeping a low profile and will be keeping my fluffy bright ideas to myself (at least till the next time).