SLOW LEARNERS

I've been trying to teach the humans how to play a very simple game called 'fight me for the biscuit'. They are such slow learners, it's a really simple game - they throw the biscuit, I leap on it and toss it about a bit then they have to try and get it back but because I'm a super fast poodle they always loose. Now you have to admit it's not too complicated but they just don't seem to understand the concept, they stand around saying stupid things like "perhaps he's not hungry" or "he'll eat it when he's ready". What dimwits the fun is in the fight which I always win. Yesterday I even resorted to rolling on my back barking with the biscuit next to my nose (just in case they made a quick grab) and all they did was laugh and call me a crazy poodle!!

Oh well I suppose you can't win 'em all.

Wags Charlie

Dog Borstal

I can't believe that any programme maker could be so irresponsible as to make 'Dog Borstal'. I watch in amazement as they wreck the training that dogs have worked so hard on. Humans are difficult to train at the best of times without interfering busybodies undoing all our hard work!

Dogs unite in protest give them some paws for thought. We mustn't take this lying down, perhaps we should start a petition for the number 10 website. Let me know is you have any doggy thoughts.

Today's training advise is demonstrated above, if your humans are over zealous in playing fetch simply confiscate their toy and head for the nearest sofa.

TOP DOG

Well guys it may have taken me a while to get round to it, but I think it's time for an update. I never really saw myself as a working dog, you know the smart haircut and all that fussy stuff (more of a dive through a hedge and into a puddle sort up till now), however the new folks are accountants so I get to hang out at the office a fair bit and wow before long I was guarding the door and of course that soon led to a client relations role as principle meeter, greeter and chief sniffer dog. It's a breeze and the tips are great and I'm even doing my bit towards global warming by recycling any scraps before they reach the bin!

I do find the computer stuff gets a bit tiring towards the end of the day and a nap is advisable between office rounds. If any dogs out there have jobs they enjoy please post a comment.